Brash Consulting

I’m a big one for believing that we are truly motivated when we are in danger of losing what we have (the protective drive) or find something so enticing that we can transcend any obstacle to get it (the aspirational drive). Many of my clients (I coach also) complain about the struggle with juggle but can’t find sustained motivation and discipline to moderate behaviour in ways that are consistent with those stated goals. Perhaps it’s really confronting for them to accept that they get more out of their work and career than they do from their life outside work. This of course does not suggest that those dedicated to their careers may not love family members and friends deeply. Nor should ethical organisations exalt those who invest in career to the exclusion of a personal life or pay lip service to work/life balance as surely people have the right to enjoy both.

However I see evidence that some colleagues and clients have achieved a pretty good “flow” because a) they know themselves well b) they are honest about what they really want in life and c) they exercise decision making in line with those priorities and values. Thus they achieve some real balance and are mostly productive and happy in the life they have carved for themselves. It is harder when people have not the education, the intellect, the skills or the personal circumstances to feel so empowered. The myth that we can have it all these days seems to create a lot of disappointment, even depression for people, but if we are prepared to own our choices, set clear and palpable goals and maintain some semblance of discipline consistent with those choices, we can have it most.

Barack Obama was inaugurated as President of the United States amid much emotion hope and optimism. If one compares his famous acceptance speech on Election Day with the speech he made on Inauguration Day, the contrast is striking and relevant to all of us who lead change. His “Yes We Can” campaign stirred, inspired and seduced his people and for the record I believe he is authentic in his desire to bring about change in his country and greater peace to the world. However, it was only once he was truly in the chair he spoke of the critical need for people to pull together, to temper their enthusiasm with realism, to contemplate the enormity of the task before them all and remind them it would indeed take much time. Obama knows the importance of Expectations Management.

Some who are inclined to greater cynicism would say he trivialised the challenge until he had won the race. However he had to deploy one of the most fundamental of strategies in early ‘therapy’ for people whose esteem and efficacy was low – the “transfer of optimism” (see Gerard Egan, the father of counselling therapy).

Obama faced staunch public opposition in Congress this week; accused of lying. He responded rather than reacted, a trait of a leader high in Emotional Intelligence yet the opposition was very public and very real. A leader has to be willing to do the hard stuff, despite the discomfort they create and the resistance they may face.

In a world where young people demand low ‘power distance’ between themselves and their bosses and where engagement is prized, how challenging to strike the balance between being a leader and a friend; how critical to manage expectations and not put ourselves continually in a position of having to defend and apologise or backtrack. These are some of the skills of strategic influence and they must be enacted authentically to have any chance of sustained success.